Tootie here!

I wanted to share a little story that happened to me the other day. Okay so I was in this downtown parking lot and I just pulled into a nice little comfy spot for my little car that was close to the elevators. I am all dressed up cause I was on my way to see a play. So I have a little dress on and some high heels. So I strut myself over to the elevators and I open the door and push the button to lower myself to the street level. I back away from the elevators to see which one will be opening first when...these two Shims walk into the elevator waiting area. For those of you that don't know what a Shim is, it's of male gender that likes to dress as a woman.

The first one could actually pull of being a woman. Aside from the rather large hands and the deep voice. S/he had short black hair that was actually styled very nicely and a nice black and white skirt suit, with cute black flats, and a nice touch of pearls. Now the second one got to me a little bit. Lets see if I can paint this picture.

Shim's hair (or rather a head full of pubes) was a lighter burgundy color that was cut right below the ears. S/he had about an inch of black and grey roots showing and it was so frizzy and kinky that it just stuck out to the side like Boe-Boe the clown. Shis eye shadow had a nice coating of rainbow sparkles that covered his entire lid (this trend, I believe went out in the 90's). Shis dress was of 80's style sweetheart neckline, with puffy sleeves, white with big purple flowers and green leaves, the bottom flared out and was cut right above the knee. You continue down his rather shapely shaved legs where...OMG WTF is s/he wearing. A white sock that was folded down with purple ruffle fringe, and green flats.

I had to do some serious biting of the lip not to start laughing my ass off. He looked like one fugly 5 year old from the 80's. Oh when is this elevator going to open! Finally it does and this guy walks out, looks around and stops. He starts backing into the elevator and says "Ooops, I didn't mean to get off here. I must be going crazy!" I give a little giggle and I stepped in and immediately made room for the fugly 5 year old and his mother. I punch the button to go to the main level and we all the wait. The elevator doors start to close and then bounce back open. I look at the guy that was already on the elevator and say "Looks like the elevator is going a little crazy too!" Then to my astonishment the fugly 5 year old adds in a rather disturbing husky voice "We're all a little crazy!" S/he then gets reprimanded by his mother "Don't say that! Why would you say that?"

Okay by this point I'm trying not to laugh my ass off by biting my lip so hard that I do believe I drew blood. The doors of the elevator finally open and out I went all but running out the doors onto the side walk. They then pass by me talking about sitting in the bar to have a few drinks and I watch as they manly stagger into the same restaurant that I was going to sit in the bar at. I so wish I had this on film. Just picturing his Boe-Boe hair blowing in the wind while totally walking like a man, with shim's stomach leading was the most hilarious thing I think that I have seen in a long time.

Unfortunately once they walked into the restaurant they opted for a private booth and not the bar. I think that it would be even more hilarious to watch this fugly 5 year old sit at the bar with a big pint of beer. Oh well! Maybe next time!